Currently Playing Fuck Me Stupid By Raunch Hands see related

- ooooohhhuuhhahah!!!

Hey yall

fun night witrh megan..were getting read to go to goodwill w00t!!!

Neways..i was just making sure i could update on this mutha fucka aka mighty cool xanga i have

love,

linzi

Currently Playing *NSYNC [Germany] By 'N Sync see related

- glosikan alvin-"That Sexy Russin Girl Who doesnt shave her Arm pits"

Hey everyone,

Like my new layout? This really cool girl had it on hers for me to copy. Yup yup..she rox.  So, anyways...meagan is over and its all good because she is so cool.  We spent a billion hours reading poetry.  I told her i wish i oculd write like her.  And then my cool dad was like, "i wrote poetry once" And then he started reciting poetry about a knight and lady roses.  It was funny if you knew my dad.

So-i went to see my counselor today and she said that she thinks i either have pediatric bipolar depression, an attention disorder (add, adhd), or borderline personality disorder.

She said most likely i have bpd and that i am too young to diagnois yet.

Here are the bpd stuff:

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: 
1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in (5).  (me)
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This is called "splitting."  (me)
   Following is a definition of splitting from the book I Hate You, Don't Leave Me by Jerry Kreisman, M.D. From page 10: 

   The world of a BP, like that of a child, is split into heros and villains. A child emotionally, the BP cannot tolerate human inconsistencies and ambiguities; he cannot reconcile antherís good and bad qualities into a constant coherent understanding of another person. At any particular moment, one is either Good or EVIL. There is no in-between; no gray area....people are idolized one day; totally devalued and dismissed the next.

   Normal people are ambivalent and can experience two contradictory states atone time; BPs shift back and forth, entirely unaware of one feeling state while in the other. 

   When the idealized person finally disappoints (as we all do, sooner or later) the borderline must drastically restructure his one-dimensional conceptionalization. Either the idol is banished to the dungeon, or the borderline banishes himself in other to preserve the all-good image of the other person.

   Splitting is intended to shield the BP from a barrage of contradictory feelings and images and from the anxiety of trying to reconcile those images. But splitting often achieves the opposite effect. The frays in the BP's personality become rips, and the sense of his own identity and the identity of others shifts even more dramatically and frequently.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.  (me)
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in (5). (me)
5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.  (me)
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).  (me-sometimes)
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness. 
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights). (me)
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. 

Dissociation is the state in which, on some level or another, one becomes somewhat removed from "reality," whether this be daydreaming, performing actions without being fully connected to their performance ("running on automatic"), or other, more disconnected actions. It is the opposite of "association" and involves the lack of association, usually of one's identity, with the rest of the world.

There is no "pure" BPD; it coexists with other illnesses. These are the most common. BPD may coexist with:

• Post traumatic stress disorder 
• Mood disorders 
• Panic/anxiety disorders  (me)
• Substance abuse (54% of BPs also have a problem with substance abuse)  (me)
• Gender identity disorder 
• Attention deficit disorder 
• Eating disorders 
• Multiple personality disorder 
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder 

Statistics about BPD

BPs comprise: 

2% of the general population (me)
10% of all mental health outpatients
20% of psychiatric inpatients (me)
75% of those diagnosed are women (me)
75% have been physically or sexually abused (me)

 

OK thats all...ill tell yall about^ me being sexually abused later bc meany of yall prolly dont know..love always,

linzi

meagan=cool..

dustin=gay

lori=FAT ASS WHORE

i love cody again...hm...the endless cycle...

Currently Playing Get Crunk By Lil' John, Lyrical Giants, White see related

oh ya i forgot to show yall something that i forgot to a couple of days ago..

heres a convo with meagan and dustin...when he "loved" me lol

bigdaddyd369: hey
exponetOFbreath: hello
exponetOFbreath: whats up
exponetOFbreath: oh i heard u gave lindsey a nice present.  that was very sweet
bigdaddyd369: im going out with her
exponetOFbreath: yeah i know she told me
exponetOFbreath: like 3 hours ago
bigdaddyd369: cool
bigdaddyd369: does she like me
exponetOFbreath: uh, yeah?  she was like hes so hot, bla blah... yeah so i guess so
exponetOFbreath: do u like her?
bigdaddyd369: im in love with her
exponetOFbreath: seriously?  how long have u known her?
bigdaddyd369: 3-4 months

Currently Watching K-19 - The Widowmaker By Harrison Ford see related

Hey everyone,

Im just chilling at my grannys.  I told yall lori was a whore because me and cody threewayed her and was cody was like i like u blah blah blah blah, and she was like, im braking up with dustin for u and were gonna sex (lol-word usage) for weed.  She is sucha whore.  So, dustin broke up with her and then she was like im gunna kill myself blah blah blah blah..and i was like omfg u attention child.  So, now they are going back out but i dont really care.  He is so annoying and so is she.  Erk, were not friends and ur right meagan, I KNOW i am prettier/better/in every way then her.  LoL..oh and she cuts herself for like attention and it bothers me but i dont know why.  I guess I shouldnt even care but idk.  She doesnt even like, cut, i dont know its weird.  She scratches herself with a safety pin and shows everyone.  Its so gay.  And i told her i wanted to kill myself the other day and she was like dude me too, and I asked her why and she said because she was fat.  That is sooo stupid because 1st off she could lose wait if she wanted to and second off thats a gay reason to kill urself.  And she is always (like when we are around guys) like im fat, im not pretty, blah blah blah just so guys will tell her she is.  I dont know, it just pisses me off and i needed someone to vent to, so yall are the lucky people who get to hear my story.  Andway, her and dustin can go screw each other.  On lighter note, i took my finals today and did extremly well.  I havent taken my math one yet, but i am about to go so...ill update about that.  Tribunal is tommorrow at nine thirty.  Ill let yall know about that to.  Love to meagan, brit, and everyone else who makes me feel special in life.

**....cody is, like different, like tottally, like wow....**

Love,

linzi

Currently Playing The Reason By Hoobastank see related

OK OK OK...

Life Sux......Dustin=pooey

He's all like...yea...I love u and i wanna be with u, but i just need space from all girls right now.  And then the next night he is going out with lori?  What the fuck...my "best" "friend: wouldnt do that shit to me.  (Meagan, I know you wouldnt)

Alright, well the great "LoRi" is talking to my man and lying to him as we speak

dustin i love u

bye yall